by Seth Simonds from Lifehack

Are you easily distracted? I bet you are. If I told you this link led to a list of funny pics of deranged kittens, you’d likely click through and quickly forget our conversation.

That won’t happen this time!

Interruptions do the most damage when we allow their appearance to affect us long after we’ve returned to our initial task. This can happen for a few reasons:

• We treat any break in our work flow like it’s a fracture in the final product.
• We resent our seeming inability to avoid distractions and end up treating their appearance as a personal weakness.
• We view distractions as a change in our journey instead of just another bend in the river.

What can you do about it?

1. Embrace Your Fear

You are not, contrary to what your mother may have told you, different from the rest of us. We all get distracted. We all get annoyed when a productive moment is interrupted. We all get fed up when scheduled events don’t go as planned. If you allow trepidation to sneak into your mind at the prospect of distractions, you’ll cripple your productive abilities.

Fearing distractions also fosters resentment against the ones doing the distracting. Recognize that you will be distracted sometimes and accept those distractions as opportunities to improve. You can’t stop distractions but you can keep them from taking over your day. This is your time!

2. Plan For Interruptions

Effective planning is a cornerstone of the productive lifestyle. Planning for interruptions might seem impossible. Does it to you? Here’s an easy visualization that will help you get started with your planning:

Start each work session by drawing a few squares on a small piece of scrap paper. These represent distractions that will almost certainly pop up. As you encounter and conquer distractions, put a check mark in the appropriate box. After awhile you’ll be able to do this in your head. Sounds easy, right? An expected distraction has no power over your day. You still have control.

3. Delegate And Postpone

Once you’ve identified an interruption as something that needs attention and not just a nascent longing to goof off, try to postpone your involvement. The brute way of doing this is to shout out, “I don’t have time right now. Don’t bother me!”

The classy option is a bit more involved. Take a moment to understand what the distraction involves. Is somebody dying? Is there a deadline you’ve forgotten? Is there a networking opportunity here? If it turns out that you’re not facing an emergency, postpone your involvement and delegate as much of the detail work to somebody with available resources.

4. Attack Procrastination

It’s safe to say that most of us welcome far more distractions than we should. Why? Because we’re chronic procrastinators and distractions offer us a way to slack off without being overtly lazy. The simplest way to attack procrastination is to synthesize urgency with truncated deadlines. If it normally takes you 3 hours to do something, hit the bathroom, grab a glass of water, set a timer for 90 minutes, and tear into your work! This won’t work for every project but it’s a lot of fun when it does!

5. Split Your Day Into Targets

Distractions are most dangerous to the person working without short-term goals. You can keep yourself out of the danger zone by setting targets throughout your day. You’ll probably only need to do this for tasks you really don’t want to complete. For example:

1. Send uncomfortable email by 9am
2. Complete meeting agenda by 12pm
3. Say pleasant thing to annoying boss by 2pm

The power in this process is that you now have time-sensitive targets to steer toward once you’ve escaped distractions. That 8:45am phone conversation that might have gone on for an hour? Nixed by the email deadline. Crops dying on Farmville at 11am? Overruled by the meeting agenda!

6. Limit Inputs

The more you limit channels people can use to distract you, the less likely it is that you’ll be distracted. It takes strength of character to ignore social media and your ever-friendly smartphone. It takes trust in the people who work for you to step away from the rush of business and crunch numbers in the back room. It’s hard to disconnect because we often feel a tinge of irrelevance when we step out of the rush.

Do it. Your results will be proof that it was worth the effort.

7. Batch Outputs

Responding to emails in batches and scheduling a block of time to make phone calls can seem like a dreary way to do business but it’s a highly effective way to keep distractions at arms length. Batching is even more effective in minimizing the collateral damage caused by Twitter and other social networks if you jump in without a set time frame.

To get started, make a list of the things you must do every day to maintain good communication in your business and throughout your social networks. Give each tool or action it’s own time slot and allow a bit of margin at the end. You won’t get the momentary social high of constant real-time interactions but the long-term benefits will make up for your loss.

8. Communicate Your Schedule To Others

When it comes to managing people-based distractions, communication is key. Need to finish a project? Let the people in your work group know that you’ll be off-limits until a certain time. Trying to finish a freelance project in a houseful of kids? Let them know that unless somebody is dying or the house is burning down, you’ll murder a kitten if they interrupt you.

Obviously, if you haven’t taken the time to create a realistic schedule for yourself, sharing that schedule won’t help as much.

9. Begin With The Main Point

When you encounter a distraction, get to the heart of it immediately. Your “get to the point” style may go over badly with some people who prefer to give back story before sharing their main point. Apologize for any possible rudeness and ask for the main point anyway.

Once you know the main point you can ask for supporting information and make a smart decision about what to do before getting back to work.

Getting back to work is what you were about to do, wasn’t it?

If you’ve found a particular tip or trick helpful in your quest to beat distractions, I hope you’ll take a moment to share it!

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ~Thomas Edison

By David, From Language Learning Tips

5) BE A PARROT – don’t think, talk!

I have taught English to hundreds of foreigners. Mostly Germans and Spaniards, but also French, Russian, Polish, Japanese, Chinese, and Arabs. My pupils are usually advanced when they begin lessons with me, in that they can carry on a conversation in English – which doesn’t mean that I can always understand what they’re saying!

Take the Spanish, for example. Do you know what a “go-at” is? When a Spanish girl used this word today, I almost corrected her, since I thought she meant “go to”, such as “go to church”, or whatever. But then I realized she was trying to say “goat”. Where in the world would she get the idea that the word “goat” is pronounced as two syllables, “go” plus “at”. Well, it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? She was trying to pronounce the word “goat” as if it were a Spanish word, not an English one. Apparently, years ago, when her high school teacher first taught that word, this girl either wasn’t in class, or wasn’t paying attention (or the teacher herself pronounced it incorrectly, something that occurs all-too-frequently in Spanish public schools).

Thus we see the first source of problems as far as pronunciation is concerned: using the rules of pronunciation of your own language to try to pronounce a foreign word. This will only rarely turn out well! I once saw a quote that said it concisely:
“Language cannot be separated from sound, and that is the heart of the matter.”
When you learn new words, you will ideally first encounter them aurally, that is, hearing them. Learn to recognize them first by their sound, and then to say them correctly. After that, you can deal with how they are written.
Of course, I know that this is often not practically possible. You learn vocabulary from a list (one of those lists containing the 1000 to 2000 most frequent words in the language), and are thus forced to try to read them before you hear them. Not very natural, is it? After all, when you took your first steps in your own language way back in early childhood, you heard your mother talking, and tried to imitate her. You certainly did not begin by picking up a book and trying to read your first words, did you?

If you have access to a native speaker of your target language (and perhaps already have lessons with that person), I think a good investment would be to pay him or her to record, word for word, all the words in your basic vocabulary list, speaking slowly and clearly, of course, perhaps leaving a few seconds between the words, so that when you listen, you can repeat the word you’ve just heard. Then, you can listen to that recording again and again. True, it might take the person a few hours to record a list of a couple of thousand words, but maybe you and a few friends can chip in to pay him/her for the effort, and then you can make copies of the recording for each of you. When listening to the recording, you can simultaneously look at the list. This way, you are learning the sound of the words along with their correct spelling. When you yourself say each word, BE A PARROT!

Consider the parrot. Some of them know quite a few words. How did they learn them? Certainly not by reading. They learned simply by hearing and repeating. No thinking was necessary. When you repeat the words your teacher says, you should strive to be a parrot as well. Don’t analyze (for example, don’t ask yourself: “Let’s see, was that sound the teacher said like this, or like that…?”)
SIMPLY TRY TO ABSORB THE SOUND, AND REPEAT IT AS CLOSELY AS POSSIBLE.

By not thinking, you will be able to avoid censoring what you yourself say, which can lead to mental blocks. For instance, some pupils, when they hear a word in a foreign tongue, hesitate before trying to say it themselves. They first want to think about how it is written, how to form the mouth when pronouncing it, etc. Yet the best thing to do at first is just say it. Your pronunciation wasn’t on the mark? Fine. Then say it again. And again. And again… Keep repeating it until what you say sounds like what the teacher said. Insist that your teacher not be satisfies until say it right.  Usually, you will get it after a few tries at most. If not, then is the time to analyze. Now, you can think. Ask yourself what you are doing wrong. Are your positioning your lips and tongue correctly? Could it be that you didn’t listen well in the first place, so that you aren’t really sure how the word sounds yet? Have the teacher say it again (or rewind your recording a bit). LISTEN MORE CLOSELY. Then try to say it again. In any case…
DON’T BE SATISFIED UNTIL YOU ARE ABLE TO PRONOUNCE THE WORD AS CLOSELY TO THE NATIVE SPEAKER’S PRONUNCIATION AS POSSIBLE.

If your mind seems “blocked”, that is, if you can’t seem to get it right no matter what you try, then it’s time to take a step back. Don’t tell yourself you just can’t get it right, that you are a failure, or whatever. Even if you’re learning a foreign language as difficult as Chinese, always remember: There are millions of people who speak that language, and they certainly aren’t all geniuses! It can be done.

When it isn’t going well, the first thing you should do is RELAX. Seriously. SIT BACK IN YOUR CHAIR. BREATHE DEEPLY. Inhale, exhale, slowly. Feel your body relaxing, your mind opening up. Tell yourself that you will now listen to the word again, in this relaxed state, and that you will then be able to say it yourself. Listen again, and repeat. I have seen countless times that when a pupils relaxes, he or she can suddenly listen much better, and is thus better able to repeat what is heard. Try it out when the going gets rough, and more likely than not, you’ll surprise yourself at how much easier it is when you are relaxed. Relax, listen, absorb the sound, repeat, as if you were a parrot. It’s the best way there is to learn good pronunciation.

By David, From Language Learning Tips

4) Divide and conquer

Learning a language can, on one level, be compared to putting together a rather large jigsaw puzzle. Imagine that somebody gives you a puzzle that shows a panoramic view of the grand canyon – that is, if you ever manage to put all the pieces together. For there are several thousand of them, and many seem to look exacerbatingly similar. So how do you do it? Little by little, with patience and perseverance. You know you can’t do it in a day, maybe not even in a week or a month, but if you do something on a regular basis, connecting just a few pieces daily, you know you’ll finish sooner or later.

Admittedly, the analogy isn’t perfect. After all, the puzzle does have a limited number of pieces, and depending on how many there are altogether, you can calculate exactly how many days it’ll take you to finish if you manage to put together, say, 3 pieces a day. A language, on the other hand, is constantly growing, developing, changing, evolving… Nobody in the world knows everything there is to know about his or her native tongue, let alone a foreign language.

But then, when you set out to learn a foreign language, your goal isn’t to know everything about it (since you are aware that that isn’t possible). It is instead to master a vocabulary consisting of the most commonly used words, to learn to use the grammar correctly, and, in the end, to be able to understand and to make yourself understood in that language. This is an aim that can indeed be divided up into a few thousand parts.

Working with a list of the 1500 most frequently encountered words in your target language, as well as a good grammar book, you might theoretically be able to determine, for instance, 2500 "elements" that are to be learned: the 1500 vocabulary words, plus 1 thousand grammatical units. (One grammatical unit being, for example, the present tense of the verb "to be" in your target language; another one being the past tense, yet another could be a rule concerning word order, etc.)

Now, if you learn 5 parts of this "puzzle" every single day, you know you will have achieved your goal in 500 days, or about a year and a half (2500 "elements" divided by 5 = 500). That’s not really so long, is it? Sure, you’ll have to review material already learned, but if your daily "quota" of new elements isn’t too large, you’ll easily have enough time left over for review.

Working in such a way not only guarantees progress, but just as importantly, it serves to all but completely eliminate one of the most formidable obstacles to learning any subject of wide scope: the frustration you can feel when you think about all the things you’ll have to learn in order to reach your goal.

When you first begin to learn a language, it can seem a bit overwhelming. Learning how to say "Buenos días", or "Wie geht es Ihnen?" isn’t so bad, but as soon as you want to express just about anything else, you realize that you don’t know how to do so. Even after a couple of months, you still might have trouble speaking in tenses other than the present, and this severely limits your ability to communicate with others. It’s as if you were climbing a mountain: if you look down, you may be delighted to see that you have already climbed the first few hundred meters, but when you look up, the peak may still be very far away!

By "dividing and conquering" – learning just a few little "pieces" at a time, but on a consistent and regular basis, you will reach your goal, with an absolute minimum of frustration.

For your daily goal will not be "to be able to speak this *!#* language NOW!", but rather, to simply learn a few elements, and then do the same thing tomorrow, the next day, and so on. Patience, discipline, perseverance… and before you know it, you will find that you can handle yourself quite well in your new language, without ever having felt that your head was going to explode! 

A piece of practical advice: when you are learning a language, be sure you have a book that fulfills these requirements:

1) It should teach the grammar in a clear, orderly fashion, concentrating on the most important grammatical features, without dwelling on useless information. By "useless", I mean elements of grammar that are antiquated, extremely rare, etc. Once you have reached an advanced level, you can always buy another book that go into such details. But in the beginning, you should concentrate on useful grammar, with the goal of MASTERING it.

2) It doesn’t give you a vocabulary of thousands of words. During my years of teaching English here in Spain, I have often seen books used for teaching English to Spanish high-school students that contain words that even I have never used in my life. This is senseless. Get yourself a list of the 1000 most common words (preferably ordered according to frequency) in your target language, and use this as a basis for vocabulary. In your grammar book, concentrate on memorizing the useful vocabulary; if you see a word that you would seldom ever need, don’t bother with it!

3) It contains exercises as well as an answer key in the back. There’s nothing more frustrating than to do grammar exercises, and then to have no way to check your answers. Of course, if you are working with a teacher, he/she can correct your mistakes. Nonetheless, since you’ll no doubt be learning alone a lot, it is a comfort to know that when you are finished the exercises, you can immediately see if and where you went wrong.

Of course, languages cannot be learned with books alone: you will also have to LISTEN and SPEAK. For this purpose. besides learning vocabulary and grammar, you must learn good pronunciation, so that you will understand others when they speak, and so that you yourself will be understood. This takes us to our next subject, entitled…

By David, From Language Learning Tips

3)Memory Techniques:How to Learn  faster, and Remember better

I have been a musician for many years now, and my experiences in that area have often helped me in the field of language teaching. It often happens to me that I will be walking down the street, and a piece of music is constantly going through my mind, on a semi-conscious level. When I then think consciously about it, I realize that the piece in my mind was the one I had been rehearsing several hours before. When you practice an instrument, your session doesn’t really stop when you get up and leave the instrument; rather, your mind continues to "work" on the piece throughout the day. Usually, it’s the last piece you work on that sticks in your mind the most. 
The same thing happens with foreign languages. When we learn, for instance, a list of ten vocabulary words in a foreign language, we can expect to think about them again during the day, though we may not be fully conscious of this.

However, there are two major differences between a vocabulary list and music:
1) A vocabulary list consists of words, of course. After learning the list, we will probably talk to someone, watch TV, or simply think. All of these are activities that involve words – and most likely, the words in our foreign-language vocabulary list will not be heard, spoken or thought during the course of our normal daily activities. As a result, the "sub/semi"-conscious learning effect will usually not be as great as in the case of music, since….
2) Music is a much more emotional expression than are mere word lists. We move to music, we feel when we hear it, it inspires, elates and touches us directly on an emotional level. It is comforting, pleasant and pleasurable… usually much more so than a list of vocabulary words!
Nonetheless, it IS possible to apply this knowledge about the effect music has on us when learning words.
I remember when I had my first French class back when I was in college. The professor was an elderly European gentleman who had the liveliness of a Spaniard and the charm of a Frenchman (He had been born and raised in Spain, but had lived the greater part of his life in France).

One day, he was teaching possessive adjectives****. Instead of simply reading us the list, he chanted it in a sing-songy way, with the following rhythm
("^" = short, — = "long", — = "very long")
^        ^      –       ^         ^       —
mon    ton    son    notre    votre    leur
^      ^      –       ^          ^         —
ma     ta      sa     notre     votre     leur
–       –      –    —        —       —
mes    tes    ses    nos       vos       leurs

I remember the looks on some of the students’ faces when the old fellow started rattling this off, his hands keeping time during his little "recital": some thought he was half crazy!
But do you know what? Many years later, I could still remember all the forms of those possessive adjectives in French. If he had simply read us the list, I would have forgotten them by the next day. But the fact that he acted out that list, chanting them as if they were part of a nursery rhyme, helped to implant that list into my mind in a way that no simple reading could have. Now, over 30 years later, I still remember them whenever I think of that unorthodox, yet excellent teacher.
Such methods are infinitely more effective in helping you memorize lists than mere reading and repeating!

Of course, it may be difficult to apply such a method when learning large numbers of vocabulary words. After all, if we chant every list we have, they will soon become confused in our minds, and this would defeat our purpose. However, the main principle can still be applied, that being, that if we add EMOTION and IMAGERY to the material to be learned, we will remember it much better. 

Here are a few tips:
If you must learn a small list of grammatical forms – such as the possessive adjectives above – chanting them rhythmically is a great way to help you implant them into your memory.
Where new vocabulary is concerned, I recommend the following:
1) When you first read the words, say them aloud. That way, your mind will not only receive the impression of the printed word on the page, but the SOUND of that word as well, and it will thus be easier to recall later
2) Combine and Conquer. Never learn lists of words by simply reading them over and over again. Instead, combine groups of words to make sentences. Here’s an example, using a list of Spanish words.
   el escritorio = the desk
   el suelo =      the floor
   la chica =      the girl
   delgado/a      slender
   la caja =       the box
   caerse =       to fall
   coger =        to get, pick up
Let’s make a sentence:
    Cuando la caja se cae del escritorio al suelo, la chica delgada la coge.
    When the box falls from the desk to the floor, the slender girl picks it up.
Seven new words in a single sentence. Now, learn this sentence by memory in Spanish, imagining the situation it describes as vividly as you can: A box on the desks falls to the floor, and a slim girl picks it up.
(Of course, for the two verbs you would have to know – or look up – the correct forms in order to make such a sentence.)
The fact that the new words appear in a context will be of great help in remembering the individual words. Weeks later, perhaps you’ll see the word "delgado", and won’t remember what it means. But you might remember the "chica delgada" that was picking up the box…and when you do, you’ll most likely recall the meaning of "delgado", when you think of that slender girl with the box.

Of course, sometimes we will have to learn lists of words that don’t combine as easily. "basura" (= trash), "filósofo" (philosopher) and "gotear" (= drip) for instance. Combine them anyway to form a sentence: you’ll soon see that the more ridiculous the sentence turns out, the better you’ll remember the words in it:
"La basura está goteando encima del filósofo"
"The trash is dripping onto the philosopher".
Certainly not a very practical sentence, but the unusual image evoked will assure that you don’t forget those words easily!

It’s better to keep such sentences simple at first, and not try to fill them with more complicated grammatical structures. You should be able to include 3 to 5 new words in a sentence, maybe even more. Once you write the sentence, memorize it, imagining vividly the "picture" it conveys. Then form another one, using more new words.
You’ll want to go over these sentences a few days later, then maybe again a couple of weeks later – after all, as the ancient Greeks said: "Repetition is the mother of learning". And learning your vocabulary words in such a way will not only make them easier to remember, but more fun to learn as well!

by Susan Baroncini-Moe from Lifehack Link

Being authentic can be surprisingly difficult, especially in business. I often work with people who have no problem being genuine in real life, but who really struggle with authenticity in business. I hear from clients that, in business, they have to appear to be mega-successful — not just sort of successful, and not “hey, I’m growing a business here,” but really successful, in order to be taken seriously. There’s so much posturing and pretending, because people believe that you can’t become successful unless you appear to already be successful. But that’s just not true! In fact, it’s just the opposite.

We’re all works in progress.

I’ve seen “behind the scenes” of a lot of the people who many of us think of as mega-successful, and things aren’t always how they seem. A well-known wealth coach I know spends most of his time talking about the power of mindset, but I know that he struggles with exactly the same issues everyone else does: doubt, uncertainty, insecurity. We’re all works in progress. Every single one of us. We all have questions and insecurities and fears. It’s how you deal with those internal struggles that matters.

The truth has a way of seeping out anyway.

We think we’re so good at hiding our secrets from the rest of the world. But whether it’s a financial crisis, marital problems, personal demons, or something else, even if you think you’re keeping your skeletons hidden, you’re probably not. Truth has a way of sneaking out there and betraying our lies. Truth may show up in an uncertain look in your eye or in the way you keep your secrets, but know this: it’s almost impossible to keep things totally hidden.

It’s not all about appearances. It’s about truth.

Far too many folks out there seem to think that if you appear to be super-successful, you’ll achieve legitimacy. But it’s not about how you seem, it’s about how you are. If who you really are matches up with who you say you are, then you’ll appear credible, because you are credible. On the other hand, pretend you’re something that you’re not and you’ll come off as shady.

The real secret to gaining legitimacy is authenticity.

We’re all after legitimacy, in the end. So take the time to build your expertise and knowledge, offer your services at a discounted rate while you gain experience, and build in the right systems to support your products and services so you can offer unparalleled good service. You’ll build credibility by doing things right, and with credibility and legitimacy comes real success.

Susan Baroncini-Moe started her entrepreneurial adventures with a lemonade stand. Now, Susan is the CEO of Business in Blue Jeans, dedicated to helping you design a business you’ll love or transform your business into optimized profitability. Learn more at BusinessInBlueJeans.com.Other links: Blue Jeans Web Sites and Susan’s No Suits Allowed! E-zine.

by Steve Errey from Lifehack Original Link

Some years ago I remember standing in my kitchen, staring silently at my boxes of cereal, trying to decide which to have for breakfast.  Was it a Frostie’s morning, or was it more of an Oat Crunchie’s day?  Or maybe granola?  I stood there for 5 minutes, until – utterly frustrated – I marched out of the house and went without.

Fortunately I’ve learned to make decisions more quickly and more easily now, and when I notice that second-guessing and doubting starting to kick in, I kick it right back.  So here are 5 ways to stop second-guessing or, of you prefer, 5 ways to make confident decisions.

1. Test them against your values.

So many times we have to make decisions without a framework and no way to judge between two choices.  When faced with a tricky decision it’s often a good idea to line up your choices and ask “Which one of these most honours the things that mean the most to me?”

The decision that’s most in line with the things that mean the most to you – your core values – will be the best decision for you.  That might not be the simplest or most practical, but because it fits with who you are and what’s most important to you it will always be the best decision for you.

2. Trust your gut.

When I was growing up I used to love rainy Sunday afternoons watching Columbo, especially the bit at the end where he’d sidle up to the Bad Guy, say “Just one more thing” and then proceed to blow apart the bad guys alibi.  Just brilliant.

What Columbo had bundles of was a great trust in his intuition.  In every episode, from the very moment he first meets the bad guy, he knows ‘whodunnit’ – and he always trusts that.

So look at what your intuition tells you is the ‘right’ decision for you.  Forget about all the “What if’s” and the myriad, tiny details – what is your gut telling you?  Listen to your intuition, it knows what it’s talking about.

3. It just doesn’t matter.

My decision between breakfast cereals wasn’t a biggie.  Whichever one I chose, there were never going to be any huge consequences and the ripples from that decision wouldn’t have been felt much further than the end of my spoon.  Sometimes it just doesn’t matter which way you go.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in second guessing yourself, going round in circles and over-complicating things, when – if you get right down to it – it just doesn’t matter. Going round in circles is only going to make you dizzy, so stop it.  Ask yourself this question – if your future happiness wasn’t dependent on your decision (and it isn’t, by the way), which way would you go?

4. Have enough information.

Go and get the facts before you make a complex decision.  By all means weigh up the pro’s and con’s so that you can get an understanding of what’s behind a choice.  But be careful – there’s a huge difference between knowing enough to make a choice, and knowing everything to make a choice.

When you feel yourself pursuing every fact or every piece of information before you make a decision, stop yourself.  Ask “What do I really need to know to make this decision?” and focus your efforts on getting the best information relatively quickly, rather than pursuing all of the information you could get your hands on given a longer period of time.

5. Respect your doubts.

We all naturally shy away from change, and we’ve developed a whole bunch of tricks that make it easy for us to avoid making decisions and stay exactly where we are.  That part of you is often called the “Gremlin”, and it’s the part of you that would rather avoid making decisions altogether rather than run the risk of making a bad one or screwing up.

Your Gremlin is not the same thing as having doubts, which are valid concerns about a possible course of action, or reasonable concerns about what might be in store. Your doubts can help you prepare for change and get ready for what could happen.

Your Gremlin is adept at feeding on your doubts and using them to get you to stay put, so knowing the difference between your Gremlin and your valid doubts helps you clarify what’s real and what’s imagined, what’s relevant and what’s irrelevant.

Steve Errey almost died at age 9 as he choked on a grape. Today, Steve is still feeling the effects of some extravagant spending but remains remarkably upbeat and positive. As a leading confidence coach with clients right around the world, Steve has a reputation for talking sense and getting results. Read more at The Confidence Guy

By David, From Language Learning Tips

2)How to form positive habits that will help you reach your goals

If you’ve already read my article "Envision your goal, plan your strategy, and go for it!", you now know one way to form a positive habit: by writing down, on a daily basis, that which you’ve done on that day, and making it a point to look at this list every day, in order to make sure you continue doing what you’ve set out to do, as well as to track your progress.
But there will be times when you’re tempted on occasion to not learn your daily words. You’ll hear yourself thinking up all kinds of excuses: "I’m so tired now, I couldn’t learn anything anyway"; "I can do it later, maybe before going to bed"; "I really have better things to do right now", or whatever else you can come up with. 
We often have the tendency to make up reasons to not do what we know we should do; this is "only human", you might say. I know in my case, when it’s really cold outside, and maybe even raining as well, I do not generally feel like going out to run, and if I stop to think about it for a minute, I’ll no doubt be able to devise at least 10 good reasons why I should stay indoors and do something else. The solution to this problem? Well, it lies within the previous sentence: "if I stop to think about it for a minute"!
Do you want to make sure that you do what you planned to do each day? Then when the time comes, don’t stop to think about it. Or, as Nike puts it quite aptly, just do it!
The value of this slogan cannot be overestimated. You have decided you want to do something – for example, learn 3 new words a day. You know you can do this in a short time, almost effortlessly, once you start. If you plan to learn those words at a certain time of day, then when that time comes, get out your word list, select three new ones, and learn them. No thinking about it first. No asking yourself whether it wouldn’t be better to do it later. No procrastination of any sort. JUST DO IT!

Of course, you may well hear a little voice within yourself thinking up excuses. Let it talk, but while it does, begin to take action, get out your word list, and start to learn. Don’t pay any attention to what the little voice is saying. Treat it like as you would someone who habitually nags at you: don’t try to think up counter-arguments, just take action. And when you do, the little voice will disappear, for it’ll know that your will has won the game!
When you first start learning the foreign language of your choice methodically on a daily basis, you will often be in danger of listening to that dissenting voice within, and may be tempted to take its arguments seriously. In this phase, as I’ve already said, simply act before you have time to decide not to. After a couple of months or so, you’ll discover that once your habit has been formed, that little voice may well continue chatting away, but the effect it has on you is different: you’ll find that the more it tries to dissuade you, the firmer your will becomes, and the more decided you are to get your task accomplished. When you notice this happening, you can be sure that you have turned your learning routine into a positive habit, and it becomes less and less likely that you will give it up.
At some point while reading the last couple of pages, you may have thought that all this talk about determination, willpower, and so on is somewhat exaggerated. How much willpower does it take to learn three words a day? That’s a cinch! No need to worry about forming habits, acquiring discipline… Ah, but here, I would disagree. You have made a decision to learn something every day, and even if it’s just three words, doing it every day will occasionally be quite difficult indeed. 
Decide when you want to start. Today, if possible, tomorrow, at the latest. Then…
  – When you start, tell yourself you will do it every day.
  – When the time comes to learn, don’t think about whether you should or shouldn’t, simply begin to act: do it!

  – Once you’ve learned your words, add the day’s date (and the words you’ve learned) to your list in the notebook. Then do anything else you may have planned for that day.
Follow these steps on a daily basis, and before you know it, learning something every day will have become a positive habit. Nothing can now stop you from mastering your favorite foreign language!

By David, From Language Learning Tips

1)Envision your goal, plan your strategy, and go for it!

There was man in Japan of about 60 years of age, who for many years had not engaged in much physical activity. Not only couldn’t he bend over and touch his toes, he could just barely reach down to his knees. He decided that he was going to gain the flexibility that had been lost since his youth, without putting undue stress on his body. He put together a stack of paper, thousands of sheets, that reached up to his knees. Then, he bent over and touched the top of the stack with his fingertips, holding the position for a little while, which wasn’t at all hard to do. The next day, he removed two sheets from the stack, and did the same thing.

Yes, you guessed it: every day from then on, he removed two more sheets of paper from the stack. The difference from one day to the next was so slight as to be practically imperceptible, so he never had any problem bending over, touching the top sheet, and holding the position for a minute or two. Of course, after many months of doing this, the stack was considerably lower, until eventually, there was no paper at all left, and he could easily touch his toes. He had achieved his goal, with no strain, no pain, no stress on his system. All it took was patience and perseverance.

Now perhaps you have no problem touching your toes, or if you can’t, maybe this doesn’t bother you in the least. But I’ll bet there is something you would like to achieve – for example, learning a foreign language – and haven’t yet.  So why not apply the same principles that the Japanese gentleman used?

   – Set yourself a clear goal

   – Develop a plan to go about reaching it.

   – Do a little something every single day that will move you a step further towards your goal.

To get by in a language in most situations, you need a vocabulary of about a thousand words. That sounds like a big number, doesn’t it? Well, what about three words? It can’t be so hard to learn a mere three words, can it? Why, you could easily do that in a few minutes, couldn’t you?

And if you learn three words today, another three tomorrow, and so on, in a year you will have acquired a vocabulary of almost 1,100 words, without stress or undue pressure. This approach is so simple that it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Countless people have no doubt thought of it before. The question is, then, why don’t so many people actually do it? The answer, of course, is that they do not persist. Let’s put it more plainly: they lack discipline.

Discipline. A word that doesn’t ring too pleasantly in the ears of many. Perhaps it reminds you of the military, or of an overly-strict parent. The truth is, most people tend to want to avoid doing those things that they know they "should" do. The majority of children find it easy to sit down and watch TV for an hour, or two, or even more. But if their father told them they must sit there for three hours, watching television without a break, no doubt many of them would rebel, and try to sneak away at the first opportunity they got!

As soon as something fun becomes an obligation, the fun evaporates almost at once, and the activity can soon turn to drudgery. As everyone knows, it isn’t possible to always escape from one’s "duties", and when we do, we often feel guilty about it. Thus it would seem reasonable to ask ourselves how we can transform this type of situation, so that we act with discipline, doing what we know we "ought to" do, with an absolute minimum of displeasure.

Let’s assume that you have set a language-related goal. You want to expand your vocabulary in a foreign language by 1,000 words within a year. You know this means learning only three words a day, a prospect that certainly wouldn’t terrify anyone. Sure, you’ll have to spend some time each week reviewing the words previously learned, but since your daily "quota" is only three words, you should readily be able to find the time to review several others within a day’s session. The big question is now simply "But will I really get around to learning three words every single day?"

The technique I am going to suggest to you will almost surely allow you to answer that question with a YES. And it’s quite simple, maybe even deceptively so. Let me tell you how I’ve been implementing it in my life.

One of the necessary daily routines for a musician is practice.  Being a musician as well as a language teacher, I love music, and I usually enjoy sitting down at the harpsichord and studying new works, or polishing up ones I have learned before. But let me assure you that there are days when I don’t have the least desire to play anything. After all, there are so many other things to do in life! This isn’t a problem if it’s only a matter of not practicing a day or two. But the danger is always that you simply lose the habit of regular practice: days turn into weeks, weeks into months, your instrumental technique goes downhill, you forget works you used to know rather well … you get the picture.

Another thing that I determined many years ago to do regularly was run. Back in my school days, I was one of the worst runners in the class. I had suffered from asthma and bronchitis as a child, and my lungs had always been weak. When I was in my early thirties, I told myself that that situation had to change. I knew I would never be a really good runner, but at least I should be able to run a couple of miles without collapsing after the first three blocks!

Of course, if it isn’t always a pleasure to play your favorite instrument, running can be said to be a real torture by comparison. Yet for some 18 years now, I have been running religiously every two days, all year, rain or shine (health permitting).

Where did I get the discipline? By using that simple technique I mentioned earlier, and which I will now reveal…

I have a notebook in which I always write down the time I spend practicing every day, and also the times I go running.

Maybe you’re disappointed, since you may have been expecting some quasi-metaphysical, earth-shaking revelation. But don’t let the simplicity of this habit fool you:

By taking note of a certain regular activity, you will soon constantly be aware of whether or not you’ve done what you wanted to do that day. If I don’t practice on a certain day, I still list that day’s date, and fill in a big ZERO next to it. Doing so is, to be sure, frustrating, but that’s the effect I want: if I get somewhat frustrated because I was lazy that day, it’s all the more likely that I will not be lazy the next day!

When I do practice, I write down how long I did so. For example, if I practice an hour in the morning, and another hour and five minutes in the afternoon, I’ll note: "60 + 65 = 125 minutes". (I like to be precise). True, it really doesn’t matter much whether I practice two hours and five minutes, or just an even two hours, but by writing down exactly how much time I spend practicing, it’s easier to note trends: for example when, during the course of a week or so, my rehearsal time slowly declines. Seeing this in writing gives me the motivation to put in some more time over the next few days to " make up for the loss".

On my "Running" page, I’ll note the date, the total time I ran, along with other data such as the route I took, and my heart rate upon finishing. Thus, this list not only motivates me to continue running, but also shows me whether my physical condition is improving.

Compared to practicing an instrument for a few hours, or running a few miles, the goal of learning three new words a day should seem like child’s play – and it is! But your daily list will make sure you never skip a day – and if you do, looking at that blank entry in your list on the following day will motivate you to learn six new words instead of three, to make up for lost time.

Your list could be as simple as this:

Nov 1 X
Nov 2 X
Nov 3 X… etc., with each "X" meaning that you learned your three words for the day. But why not write down the three words themselves in this list (I’ll assume you’re learning Spanish)?

Nov 1 el perro=dog; el gato=cat; trabajar= to work
Nov 2 hacer= to do; bajo= low; alto = high
Nov 3 la cara= face; tonto= silly; el edificio= building
Nov 4 ———————— oops! I visited Great Aunt Maude today, and just didn’t get around to learning any new words! But just wait till tomorrow…

Nov 5 La mesa= table; La silla=chair; el suelo= floor; volar=to fly,
el bolígrafo= pen; el lápiz=pencil; el papel=paper; la lámpara=lamp

There! I did SEVEN today!

The power of such a notebook is not to be underestimated. There are many things I like to do: read about any number of subjects, work on various computer/Internet-related projects, do astrological research, and so on. But the two things I almost never fail to consistently do on a regular basis are – that’s right, practice the harpsichord, and run. Precisely those two activities that I also never fail to take note of! (Hmm… I think I’ll start a notebook for some other activities as well…)

After you have been adding to your list for a few months, it will be growing automatically, since you will be learning those words every day without even thinking about it too much. But until then – that is, until your daily word-learning routine has become a habit -  you’ll have to be on the lookout for any sort of distraction that threatens to make you forget to learn the words of the day.

Are you determined to start towards your goal of a thousand new words? Then go get a notebook now, or if you don’t have one at hand, a piece of paper will do (you can always copy the first few days’ results into the notebook when you get one). The idea is to start now, lest you simply decide to "put it off" till another day… all to often, that "other day" never arrives, and we haven’t progressed at all!

May I assume you have learned your words for the day, and have duly taken note of this first step? Fine! So now we can move on to our next, oh-so-crucial subject…

from Stepcase Lifehack by Craig Harper

Carnage in the Toy Store

This morning I went to a local shopping centre (mall) to buy a birthday present for my two year-old pseudo-niece (my business partner’s daughter. Happy Birthday little Jessie!)  It proved to be quite the eye-opening experience for the childless (and somewhat clueless) alpha-male. While the shopping part of the trip turned out to be something of an enjoyable adventure for Yours Truly (who knew toy stores could be such fun?), the same couldn’t be said for the six (or so) year-old who was test driving trucks in the next aisle. As the excited young truck driver lifted the object of his desire above his head to show the Chief Financial Officer what he needed for his next birthday, his chubby little fingers somehow lost their grip and the rather-costly toy (over a hundred bucks) came crashing down on to the concrete floor, transforming it instantly into a jigsaw puzzle. Which, of course, is a euphemism for… an expensive pile of crap.

For a nanosecond there was silence.

I knew it wouldn’t last. I looked at the little boy. I saw terror. I looked at the mother. I saw wild rage. I felt a bit nervous for the little fella. I think I had some kind of deja vu moment. Sympathy pains. Or something.

For a moment I thought she might actually kill him with what remained of the truck. Simultaneously it started: his crying and her screaming. For what seemed like an eternity, the mother bellowed at the distraught child. Oblivious to her own disgraceful behaviour, the out-of-control woman ranted and raved like a lunatic.

If not for the ever-growing audience, I am sure she would have hit the boy. Leaving the broken toy on the floor, the woman dragged the screaming child out of the store and left us spectators stunned. I said something to the shop assistant who informed me that such scenes are a regular occurrence in the store.

Life: A Never-Ending Series of Reactions

In many ways, our lives are a series of reactions. It’s unavoidable. And while we do our best to create our own destiny and to live proactive and productive lives, the reality is that we all live in a dynamic and unpredictable world. Reacting is a fundamental and necessary part of the human experience. It’s a required skill. It’s what we do hundreds of times a day. Consciously or not. Positively or negatively.

We hear the weather forecast, we react. The guy in the Mazda hits his brakes, we react. Our partner says something, we react. Our child spills milk, we react. The boss walks in, we react. We hear good or bad news, we react. One way or the other. Somebody lets us down, we react. The lights change, we react. Somebody gives us feedback, we react. A song comes on the radio, we react. An opportunity presents itself, we react. We’re confronted with a challenge, we react.

Today you will react hundreds of times and many of those reactions will happen on auto-pilot. Some reactions will be incidental and for the most part, meaningless (scratching an itch, stepping over a puddle, swaying to some music). Some will impact on others (reacting to the woman who cuts you off in the car park). Some will affect your personal relationships (an argument with a friend). Some will be life-impacting (dealing with a tragedy). Some will create positive outcomes. Some negative. One reaction could even involve a child who has accidentally broken a toy.

In reacting the way she did in the toy store, the mother created numerous (undesirable and unnecessary) outcomes. She:

1. Terrified a child that (I assume) she loves.
2. Humiliated him (by dragging him through the store by his shirt).
3. Taught him that mistakes are not okay.
4. Drew unnecessary attention to herself and made everyone within fifty feet feel uncomfortable.
5. Put herself into a negative and destructive emotional state. And no, the demise of the truck wasn’t the problem: her reaction was.
6. Made herself look like a complete idiot!

In this life there are many things (most things, in fact) which will happen despite you and me. They will happen to us and around us. Some good. Some bad. However, there is one thing that will always be in our control – unless we choose to hand over that power –  and that is, how we react. Life is not fair or unfair my friends; life just is.

A long time ago I made a conscious decision that situations, circumstances and events wouldn’t define me or determine my emotional and psychological states; I will do that myself. Consciously and intentionally. I will choose my mood, my attitude, my behaviours, my reactions and therefore, my outcomes. And therefore my reality. I will be influenced by – but not determined by – the events of my world. To the best of my ability, I will consciously and thoughtfully choose my reactions. Will it always be easy? No. Will I do my best anyway? Yep. I will be ever-mindful of the likely consequences and potential impact of my reactions – on my life and the lives of others. Consciousness and awareness (of how I react and the likely consequences of my reactions) are things that need to be worked on. Forever.

Our reactions can be relationship-enhancing, or relationship-destroying. They can put us in a solution-focused headspace, or a problem-obsessed pity-party. They can make people laugh or fill a room with tension. They can empower people or discourage them. They can make people feel safe and secure or terrified and confused. They can lead to learning and personal growth or bitterness and anger.

Someone much smarter than me once said:

In the context of life, it’s not what happens that matters, but how we react (to what happens) that matters.

I tend to agree.

Today I’m encouraging you to be more mindful, more conscious and more aware of your reactions (big and small) – and the likely outcomes of those reactions – on your life, and the lives of the people in your world. Sometimes, a better life is the by-product of better reactions. So choose to react consciously and responsibly.

As always, love to hear your ideas, thoughts, feedback and stories.

Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is a qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host, motivational speaker and university lecturer. For the past 25 years he has been a leading presenter, educator, motivator and commentator in the areas of personal and professional development. You can visit Craig’s blog at Motivational Speaker.FREE eBook – So… You’ve Decided to Get in Shape (Again) Craig’s FREE eBook takes 20 – 30 minutes to read, and addresses the REAL getting-in-shape issues based on his 25 years of experience. To get Craig’s FREE eBook click here, weight loss books.

from Stepcase Lifehack by Steve Errey

I have to tell you that I’m not great at handling conflict.  I’d much rather have things run smoothly and make sure that everyone gets along, works together, has fun and delivers great results, so when conflict happens I feel awkward and uncomfortable.

I tend to do what I can to set things up ahead of time for smooth sailing, and I’ve really had to work hard at dealing with conflict when and if it arises.  Here’s what I’ve found has worked for me.

1. Don’t make it personal

Sometimes it’s easy to let your emotions get tangled up in things, especially if someone’s disagreeing or even attacking your position.  Anger, blame, hurt and a bunch of other provocative emotions can be at play, and before you know it you’ve got a bigger problem than you ever thought.

Don’t make it personal – people are allowed to disagree with your position, just as you’re allowed to disagree with others.

By all means be passionate, but that’s not the same as being defensive or coming out on the offensive with all guns blazing.  The moment you start taking differences of opinion as personal criticism and judgement (even if that’s exactly what’s being thrown at you) you’ll be on the defensive or offensive, so balance that passion with the facts and a healthy sprinkling of common sense and perspective.

2. Get the facts

There could be facts you need to know about or areas you need to explore before taking action.  Make sure you go deep enough into those areas to figure out the facts of what’s happening, but don’t dwell on detail after detail after detail.

This is often a tricky balance between doing enough due diligence to be informed, checking in with your instincts and leveraging your experience to anticipate the different paths, and it means you have to put a hold on resolving the conflict until all parties can do their due diligence.

Be clear on what do you need to know and the most effective ways to get those answers.  Work that out with an open mind and you’ll be in a stronger position to move forwards.

3. Listen

If you do one thing, make sure you hear everyone and respect their point of view.  This is not the same as understanding everyone’s perspective (that can take a lifetime), but it’s important to have a healthy respect for their position even if you strongly disagree.

Listening demonstrates the value of the relationships you have and that you’re willing to listen and engage with others.  That can speak louder than any amount of yelling.

Also, it might just mean that you discover a way through that hadn’t occurred to you before, giving you the opportunity to use nuggets of gold from different people to create a way forward that’s a workable and effective compromise.

4. Simple assertion

You have the right to be treated with respect and consideration, and coolly asserting that right is a powerful strategy.

To do that you need to watch that things don’t get overly complex – the more complicated you make things the more complex it’ll be for people to unravel and the more complex it’ll be to communicate clearly.  Keep things simple (jot down bullet points if it helps) and figure out the simplest, most effective way to move forwards.

If you’re in a leadership position there’s often a point where the debate needs to be over, and you need to communicate that in a way that engages rather alienates.  You might not have all the answers, but you need to be confident enough to be able to make a good decision.  Then your job is to let people know coolly, simply and unambiguously what the facts are, the way forwards and what’s expected.

5. Be ready to be wrong

If you’re wrong, admit it.  Don’t hang on to your position just for the sake of wanting to be right – that’ll just get you into more hot water, is sure to waste everyone’s time and will probably end up with you looking or feeling silly.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking being wrong is undesirable, it isn’t.  Allowing yourself to be wrong shows that you’re switched on enough to do the best thing for all concerned and find the best route through.  It demonstrates that you’re lead by integrity and are willing to take on new ideas if they work better, even if that flies in the face of what you were thinking previously.

Be ready to be wrong – that’s how you grow.

Steve Errey almost died at age 9 as he choked on a grape. Today, Steve is still feeling the effects of some extravagant spending but remains remarkably upbeat and positive. As a leading confidence coach with clients right around the world, Steve has a reputation for talking sense and getting results. Read more at The Confidence Guy