by Debbie Bowie from LifeHack

This week I went conference room shopping with a fellow speaker, Shirley T. Burke. Fortunately Shirley T. “gets” feng shui and understood that I would have some very specific requirements for the meeting room in which we’ll present our seminar, “Back on Track: Get More of What You Really Want From Life.” I speak best in spaces that feel good. And, I want the space to have a life-affirming energy that will complement our life-affirming message.

The first room was the right size and shape and was nicely appointed, but what really made it stand out from all the other meeting rooms we visited was it had windows with a view of green trees and shrubs. By comparison all the other spaces we saw seemed like lifeless boxes. Today’s experience reminded me of a similar experience I had several years ago. I attended an annual conference of the National Association of Professional Organizers in Reno, Nevada. It seemed like an odd location to have the annual conference of a group of left-brained, highly organized people, but I was willing to see what Reno had to offer us.

As I moved through the hotel lobby I found myself repelled by the glitz of the decor. When I ventured into the casino I felt disoriented by the cave-like space with the mirrored ceiling, busy carpet pattern, and noise of the machines. I was told that casinos are deliberately designed to encourage people to gamble. They are intentionally designed to be disorienting. What a strange place! I was most struck by the lack of connection between people. All around people were sitting alone at machines or focused on games at tables. It all seemed incredibly sad to me. I couldn’t wait to get out of the casino each time I had to walk through that space.

What a contrast it was to go upstairs to the conference rooms! Gone was the noise and glitz. It seemed like any other conference center – pretty lifeless. We spent time in windowless rooms and ballrooms divided by partitions. Although those rooms were clean and functional, they lacked natural light, color and positive energy.

After experiencing the casino and meeting rooms, two different types of impersonal and uncomfortable environments, both with no windows, both with no plants, it was such a relief to emerge into the lobby that offered beautiful views of the mountains in the distance through large picture windows. I stood at those windows and drank in the view. I felt like my soul was being nourished by the view. Never before had I been so struck by how depleting the man-made environment can be when it is devoid of elements of nature.

People can create all kinds of environments. Without having a consciousness awareness about how you are affected by those environments, you can spend enormous amounts of time in spaces that are not life-affirming. For most of us it’s not a casino, but our home or office. Spaces lacking views of nature or objects of nature are uncomfortable and will affect performance and productivity.

The natural habitat of a human being is the out of doors. Therefore, when you bring the outdoors inside, in the form of plants, rocks, shells and water; you feel more comfortable. When you feel more comfortable, you perform better.

If you don’t have windows that give you a view of nature, one quick way to improve the energy of those spaces is to bring the outdoors inside by adding elements of nature. Add a print of a beautiful landscape. Add plants and water features like fountains and aquariums. I was in a windowless bathroom recently that came alive with shell prints, real shells and a silk plant. Nature feeds our souls in ways that man-made environments cannot.

To bring the outdoors inside add:

• Live or silk plants
• Art with scenes of nature
• Water fountains
• Rocks
• Shells
• Driftwood
• Fabrics with plant patterns
• Blue and green colors
• Fresh flowers

by Seth Simonds from LifeHack

One of the things I like best about social media is the way it helps me discover talented writers. They remind me a lot of distanceathletes with their deep conversations about seemingly minor details and long periods of time spent practicing alone.

The web also has a downside. There seems to be a growing belief that having mobile access to information negates any need to regularly consume quality writing.

Some writers point to the popularity of the Twilight series and say it’s a sign the general population no longer cares about quality. In my reply I always point to the wise commentary of Juan Williams:

Pandering to base interests is very different from catering to real needs. (Paraphrased from his commentary on the notion that people of color only want to watch MTV.)

It’s possible that you’ll make money by pandering, but there are a lot of people doing the same thing now. Traipse around online for a bit and you’ll find thousands of desperate writers trying to predict the next fetish in hopes of fame and fortune. It’s sad to watch them trying so hard because in the end they’ll have nothing to be truly proud of. I want to write things for which my only explanation for writing is not, “I needed the money.”

Do you? If so, you may find some portion of the following useful. I’ve gathered some of my favorite quotes from brilliant, prolific, and plain crazy writers and share them here with some tips I’ve found incredibly helpful in my own journey as a yearning writer. I hope you enjoy!

1. Write to make a point, not a target word count

Vigorous writing is concise. ~William Strunk Jr.

Nothing makes me grimace quite like hearing somebody say they’ve reached 50,000 words and so have completed their first novel. Remember dully typing toward a minimum word count for an academic paper you had no interest in writing? If you start to get the feeling about something you’re writing, it’s probably time to stop writing and do some more research (or bribe your editor/professor/mother into accepting the shorter piece of work).

2. Help another edit their writing

I try to leave out the parts that people skip. ~Elmore Leonard

I have a short, round-bellied friend who turned me on to this quote. That said, I’ve found that helping another writer edit their work often leaves me with more insight into my own writing than I gave to the other writer! If you can find a trusted friend to trade nascent work with, you will have found a wealth of improvement.

3. Write something every day that you do not intend to share

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~William Wordsworth

I have a private blog I update daily with rants, outlines, fears, and bits of nothing that stream out of me when I’m struggling to find focus for another piece of writing. You’ll never see it. There’s no value in my sharing it because the moment I know others can see it is the moment I no longer write just for me. I suggest you give this method a try. It doesn’t have to be a blog.  A notebook would work just fine.

4. Outline before drafting & Don’t confuse fiction with dishonest writing

If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I am still learning to to do the first part. I’ve taken great value from sharing outlines of my intended work with friends who are very logical and excel at criticizing arguments without muddling thoughts. The last part… is something I can only hope for. If I someday hear a reader say, “his writing is imbued with kindness” I think that will do.

5. Don’t get caught up in restating the obvious

The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say. ~Anaïs Nin

As one who writes a lot for the web, I am continually tempted by the low-hanging fruit of trending topics and morning news drivel. Restating the obvious is easy, fun, and very retweetable. But the obvious rarely seems to translate into any sort of real legacy. If I only had a list of all the things my readers already know collectively, it would be so simple to stay fresh!

6. Befriend a dictionary

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. ~Mark Twain

Imbue, conjure, nefarious… are just a few of the words I have as friends to help me clearly make a point, share an idea, or call something into question. There’s a joy in having the perfect words at one’s disposal that only a dedicated writer can appreciate. A thesaurus can be useful if you’re bored, lazy, or drunk. Nothing trumps having a word come to mind just as you need its help.

7. Keep a little notebook for moments of inspiration

Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable. ~Francis Bacon

I use a moleskine to store my thoughts for later. Having thoughts and personal commentary all in one place has the added benefit of serving as a source of inspiration for later times of drought. Think of it as you would catching raindrops in a canteen. You’ll be glad for the moisture some day.

8. Not having a pen in your hand doesn’t mean you’re not writing

The best time for planning a book is while you’re doing the dishes. ~Agatha Christie

If you walked into my office at random, there’s a very good chance you’d find me sipping a glass of tea while staring off into space. Am I doing nothing? Not in the least. Contrary to my mother’s early suspicions, I’m not addled. I just like to silently try phrases out in my mind before writing them down. Agatha had a point about dishes, too. There’s no such thing as writer’s block. But there are times when washing dishes is a better use of time than staring at an empty screen!

9. Be kind to yourself

Every writer I know has trouble writing. ~Joseph Heller

I hope you are kind to yourself and forgiving when you cannot find the perfect phrase or paint a story just so! Writing, for me, seems amonumental task at times and I am always delighted to find others who understand my situation and reach out to help. There’s a joy in knowing that no matter how lonely a stretch of path may seem we are never entirely alone, no? We always have our writing and with it an entire community of people who care.

by Erin from ErinParenting

With school out, parents either feel two things. 1)"Wow, I can’t wait to spend more time with my kids!" or 2)"Oh, boy, here we go. How will we fill their time?"

Parents who work outside the home have no choice but to send their kids to camps or daycares during the day, but stay-at-home moms or dads need to get creative. If you need some ideas on how best to occupy your kids this summer then what follows will be just what you need.

In order for children to be happy and content four things need to be present in their day:

1) Routine
2) Stimulation
3) Free Play/Alone time
4) Sleep

How do we structure their days so that all four requirements are met? The following is what a typical day could look like:

8 am Kids wake up (or 9 am)

Eat a healthy breakfast

Have free time to play, watch a good quality children’s program (no fighting, violence, or quick flashing images) for a half hour or hour

Learn how to make or bake something with mommy or daddy. This can be a craft,puzzle or baked good.

Eat a healthy lunch

Put them down for a nap or if older, take them outside to:

a) a playground

b) a friends house (this way you can have a tea or coffee with another adult while the kids play!)

c) a play gym

d) walk somewhere (grocery store, post office, ice cream store)

e) take pictures of nature with a disposable or digital camera (Children love this! Give them a brief lesson on how to focus on an object etc. then let them be creative with whatever they want to capture) Make these pictures part of another day’s craft activity!

f) kick around a ball together

g) walk in the countryside

h) go to a museum

i) go to the zoo

j) send the kids on a scavenger hunt and after they find everything they can enjoy a homemade popsicle or ice cream!

k) go to grandma and grandpa’s house

l) play catch

m) meet the working parent for his or her coffee break (how nice to visit them during the day for a short coffee, tea, lemonade or chocolate milk!)

n) weed the garden or grass (believe it or not, some kids really like doing this! Put on some good music and have an enjoyable time together)

o) take care of the garden plants by watering them, picking off dead leaves etc.

p) wash the car with buckets of soapy water, sponges and shammy cloths

q) turn on the sprinkler(s) and let the kids run through the water (you can either join in or read a good book while they play) Come home and let the children have some "Alone Time" (for you as well!)

Eat a healthy dinner

Spend some quality family time together

To bed no later than 9:00pm for younger children and 10pm for older children.

from Stepcase Lifehack by Francis Wade

About a year ago, I published a question in a Blackberry forum asking how the devices had helped to make professionals more productive.

The responses I received were typified by the one that I remember the most: “I am more productive because I can check my email on  the train to and from work.”

This seemed like a reasonable response at the time. As a person who gets a bit nervous when I have nothing productive to do, I could relate.  While I don’t take the train, the value of converting “down time” to productive time is a pretty attractive one.

And apparently, I’m not alone.

A recent  survey of 1 million users in 34 countries showed that 62% believed that their work productivity was “much better” due to new technology.  75%  consider the opportunity provided by devices such as smartphones and laptops to remain in constant contact with work as a positive development.

Apparently, “productivity” has been redefined.

According to our new definition, productivity has something to do with two things: converting “down time” to work time, and  being able to  “stay in touch” with what’s happening at work at all times.  This  kind of commitment used to be associated with  “Type A” executives, but nowadays anyone with the right tools can join in the fun.

“Fun” might be a strong word, but many of us like to find new ways  to be effective, and like to feel as if we’re getting better at  managing our time.

However, what’s actually happening in the life of many  professionals is not amusing at all.  Their companies  have taken the opportunity given them by technology and the recession to convince employees to spend more  “down time” doing work.  At the same time, they send a subtle message that  “staying in touch” with work also means being available 24 hours  a day for 52 weeks of the year.

Converting “Down Time” Nowadays, it seems, everyone with a smartphone has gotten into the habit of continuously trying to convert “down time” into useful, work time.  Here are some everyday examples of ways in which many professionals are converting their “down time.”

• - a manager driving on the highway at 70 m.p.h. sends a text to his team  (while spilling hot coffee into his lap)
• - an engineer in a meeting that’s going slowly, checks her email and replies (missing two action items assigned to her)
• - an accountant watching his child play baseball on Saturday morning closes a deal in the fourth inning via cellphone (and lies to his  son about seeing him make his first catch ever)
• - a supervisor attending 3 days of personal productivity training is unable to leave her smartphone untouched for more than 15 minutes (and later complains that  the trainer was ineffective)
• - a consultant speaking to a client on the phone remembers that  he should have sent an urgent message to a colleague, and quietly does so (even as the client notes the sudden lapse in attention and interprets it as a lack of interest in continuing the relationship)
• - a hard driving attorney once again takes his smartphone to the  urinal where he can multi-task (… and is noticed by his boss’ husband who happened to borrow his smartphone just five minutes earlier)
• - a family cheers in unison when executive-Mom forgets her  smartphone at home 5 hours into the annual vacation (and falls into  despair when FedEx delivers it the next day)

I recently asked a client: “How did your big presentation to the executive team go?”  She responded: “OK… but the CEO spent the entire hour on his (expletive)  Blackberry.”

This was bad news for my client, whose project was now being viewed by the CEO as another chunk of his “down time.”

If these are all examples of attempts to convert “down time” into useful time, take note of the way in which “down time” has been expanded.  This  is more than filling in the time that would be spent sitting on a train.  The habit has invaded every nook and cranny of our lives, sparing no-one, and costing us dearly.

At this point, many of you reading are probably shaking your heads at  some of the poor etiquette on display.  I did the same, until I began to think of the mindset of the employees involved.

All the habits listed above were developed by professionals who  were well intended — they were trying to boost their productivity by converting “down time” into something of value. Unfortunately,  once we humans are hooked on a habit, it’s hard to stop, and  we end up employing it inappropriately, much to the annoyance of others in our lives.  In that moment, the fun has disappeared and the habit has become an empty, automatic practice that does more harm than good.

The worse part is that in many companies, executives are leading  the way by example, as they are often the first users of these devices and the employees most likely to squeeze work into every available minute of their lives.

They are also the ones who are unwilling to sever the connection between themselves and their colleagues, even for a few hours  each day.

Staying in Touch With Work A friend of mine once told me the story of a manager of  rambunctious employee who was essential to the organization, but  frequently complained and threatened to leave.  In the space of a few months, he got married, bought a house and had a baby.

After these happy events, his manager passed my friend in the hall on hearing the latest it of happy news and whispered conspiratorially: “I have him  now!”  In other words, with his new family and financial obligations,  the rambunctious employee was unlikely to raise more trouble, and  would probably settle into a comfortable routine of corporate  service with a steady eye on his pension, benefits and 401(k).

The point of the story?  There are executives and managers who are blithely offering the gift of smartphones to their employees, and  in some companies it’s seen as a reward, and a status symbol.

What many of them know, however, is that when an employee accepts the device, they are likely to join the group of the always-reachable, and engage in many of the behaviors that their higher-ups are practicing,  such as: – sending and receiving messages at 2:30 am – using weekends, vacations and holidays to conduct company business – implicitly agreeing to respond to all messages within a short time-frame – interrupting ANY activity to “find out what my boss wants”

(If the stories told on YouTube and on blogs are true, then  _anything_ can be interrupted nowadays by smartphone use!)

To put it in more Machiavellian terms, companies have found a way to take time and attention that employees used  to spend on their own, with their families and with their friends, and convert it to company time.  It starts with the gift of a  smartphone.

While I truly doubt that there is some master plan, don’t doubt for a minute that a manager doesn’t know the difference between her employees who are always-reachable from those who aren’t. Companies can make big gains in productivity by simply giving away smartphones to their employees, while ignoring the added stress that gets created.

There are some companies that are noticing what is happening, however.

Enlightened companies take a page out of the medical profession, which has long realized that it’s important to maintain  some kind of boundaries in their professionals’ lives.  Companies can put in place policies that clearly delineate  time spent “at work,” “on call” and “away from work.”   They recognize that these are three distinct modes that must be  enforced if employees are expected to function at their best.

Most employees, however, find themselves in un-enlightened companies and  must make their own way, starting with 3 steps they must take.

Their first step is to identify the unproductive habits in their time management system.  They can do the kind of analysis I describe on my website (www.2time-sys.com) to find the strong and weak spots.

The second step is to create an improvement plan that outlines the habits to be changed, along with some target dates. This gives  them some realistic goals to heard towards.

The third step requires them to create an environment to make the habit changes easier to effect.  Unfortunately, most  habits do not change easily or quickly, and the right blend of supports can make all the difference.

Employees who have begun this personal journey need to make  a plan to enlighten the executive team.  Most smartphone use started with the CEO and her direct reports, and they are the ones who, in  all likelihood, introduced, for example, a culture of 24 hour  availability to the organization.

In an effort like this, employees need allies at all levels to  help

demonstrate that bad habits  developed in the executive suite can wreak havoc when rolled out to an entire company.  (There  is a growing body of data available that can be used in this effort.)  In an intervention, executives can be asked to imagine an  all-company meeting in which half the attendees spend most of the  meeting on their smartphones, lost in cyber-space.  (Some would  simply argue that they are following the fine example of their CEO!)

If the executive team can be convinced that these behaviors  are destructive, then the company can move to specify some  specific changes.

For example, the US Federal Government has banned the use of  cell-phones by its employees while they are driving and conducting government business.  In part, that’s because of obvious safety reasons.

From a productivity stand-point, however, it makes perfect sense. Other policies can be introduced to limit the use of smartphones and laptops during off hours, for starters.  (In some companies, turning off all messaging devices between 12:00 am and 6:00 am would be a major step.)

Each company needs to look at its culture, as well as its  strategy, and phase in these changes in a way that makes sense. They need to allow for the fact that habit change takes time, and  that a new culture could not be born in an instant.

The single employee who decides to change their company has a very difficult task on her hands, however, as she realizes that smartphones have done more to change company culture in the past few years than any vision statement or 2 day retreat.  She needs to appreciate that  some executives may decide that they like the way things are going, and don’t want to change a thing.   Those companies who take this route probably won’t see any  immediate fallout as employees cling to their jobs for fear of losing them, but they’ll  pay later.  At some point in the future, productivity will be impacted on a large scale, as employees burn themselves out and the bottom  line suffers.

It’s much better to make the small, enlightened changes now, than  to wait until the cost is higher and the effort required seems to  be impossible to garner.

All it takes to get started is one or two employees who are willing  to redefine what productivity means for themselves and their  companies, in favour of long-term results that are sustainable.

from Stepcase Lifehack by Craig Harper

“In many instances, the likelihood of an individual succeeding (no matter what the goal) will be dependant on how uncomfortable that person is prepared to get and for how long.” C.A.H.

The Application of the Information

This morning I coached someone who asked me to expand on the ‘growth comes through discomfort’ theory. It’s something I’m always teaching and it’s a concept my client was having trouble getting her head around – from a practical application point of view. As the concept is relevant to most of us, I thought I would expand on it a little today.

What’s Growth?

In the context of this discussion, growth could mean a range of things: learning, improvement, adaptation, skill development, greater insight, better understanding, less fear, more confidence, greater productivity, less anxiety, more patience, fewer destructive habits and even something as practical and measurable as greater physical strength and improved health.

For an athlete, growth might mean more points per game, a higher vertical leap or a faster time. For a shop-aholic it might mean eliminating debt and changing spending habits. For the person with a social phobia, it might mean looking someone in the eye and initiating a conversation. And, for the chronic people-pleaser it could mean saying ‘no’ to somebody, taking a stand and not backing down. In simple terms, growth means creating positive change in some area of our (personal) world.

What’s Discomfort?

Discomfort, on the other hand, could be anything that (in a general sense) we’d rather avoid. It could present itself in the form of a work problem, a financial situation, a conversation we’re always deferring, a fitness challenge, a health issue, a habit we need to break, a fear we need to confront, a relationship we need to end, a dynamic we need to change or even (as many people have experienced) an unexpected illness. It could arrive in the form of an emotional, physical, psychological, sociological, financial or professional challenge. Or, a combination thereof.

Individually Uncomfortable

The interesting thing about the discomfort/growth paradigm is that it’s completely personal in terms of how and when it works and what it means to us. By that, I mean one person’s discomfort (and, therefore, opportunity to grow) will be another person’s minor event. There is no universally relevant discomfort scale because we all think, feel, experience and react differently. A scale like P.R.E. (a widely-used scale which gauges an individual’s Perceived Rate of Exertion while completing a physical task) tells us that comfort or discomfort, hard or easy is all about the individual. Which tells us that learning, adaptation, change and improvement are also about the individual.

Standing on a stage and talking is simply part of my job. For me, that task is about as stressful as driving a cab might be for a

cabbie. That is, not very. For someone else, it might be an exercise in anxiety or maybe even terror. And, at the same time, a major opportunity for growth. Knowing that things only have the meaning we give them, we can safely assume that there is no single experience, process or situation that will produce consistent or equal results in terms of positive or negative change across the board.

Naturally, not all discomfort serves a positive purpose (standing in front of a moving bus for example) and, of course, we need to be wise and discerning about how, when and why we ‘get uncomfortable’. Having said that, it’s important that we find the awareness, courage and understanding that allow us to see problems, hurdles, barriers and catastrophes for what they really are: opportunities to grow and learn.

from Stepcase Lifehack by Celestine

Are you usually punctual or late? Do you finish things within the time you stipulate? Do you hand in your reports/work on time? Are you able to accomplish what you want to do before deadlines? Are you a good time manager?

If your answer is “no” to any of the questions above, that means you’re not managing your time as well as you want. Here are 20 tips on how to be a better time manager:

1. Create a daily plan. Plan your day before it unfolds. Do it in the morning or even better, the night before you sleep. The plan gives you a good overview of how the day will pan out. That way, you don’t get caught off guard. Your job for the day is to stick to the plan as best as possible.

2. Peg a time limit to each task

   . Be clear that you need to finish X task by 10am, Y task by 3pm, and Z item by 5:30pm. This prevents your work from dragging on and eating into time reserved for other activities.

3. Use a calendar. Having a calendar is the most fundamental step to managing your daily activities. If you use outlook or lotus notes, calendar come as part of your mailing software. Google Calendar is great – I use it. It’s even better if you can sync it to your mobile phone and other hardwares you use – that way, you can access your schedule no matter where you are.
4. Use an organizer. The organizer helps you to be on top of everything in your life. It’s your central tool to organize information, to-do lists, projects, and other miscellaneous items.
5. Know your deadlines. When do you need to finish your tasks? Mark the deadlines out clearly in your calendar and organizer so you know when you need to finish them.
6. Learn to say “No”. Don’t take on more than you can handle. For the distractions that come in when you’re doing other things, give a firm no. Or defer it to a later period.
7. Target to be early. When you target to be on time, you’ll either be on time or late. Most of the times you’ll be late. However, if you target to be early, you’ll most likely be on time. For appointments, strive to be early. For your deadlines, submit them earlier than required.
8. Time box your activities. This means restricting your work to X amount of time. Read more about time boxing: #5 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity.
9. Have a clock visibly placed before you. Sometimes we are so engrossed in our work that we lose track of time. Having a huge clock in front of you will keep you aware of the time at the moment.
10. Set reminders 15 minutes before. Most calendars have a reminder function. If you’ve an important meeting to attend, set that alarm 15 minutes before.
11. Focus. Are you multi-tasking so much that you’re just not getting anything done? If so, focus on just one key task at one time. Close off all the applications you aren’t using. Close off the tabs in your browser that are taking away your attention. Focus solely on what you’re doing. You’ll be more efficient that way.
12. Block out distractions. What’s distracting you in your work? Instant messages? Phone ringing? Text messages popping in? I hardly ever use chat nowadays. The only times when I log on is when I’m not intending to do any work. Otherwise it gets very distracting. When I’m doing important work, I also switch off my phone. Calls during this time are recorded and I contact them afterward if it’s something important. This helps me concentrate better.
13. Track your time spent. Egg Timer is a simple online countdown timer. You key in the amount of time you want it to track (example: “30 minutes”, “1 hour”) and it’ll count down in the background. When the time is up,the timer will beep. Great way to be aware of your time spent.
14. Don’t fuss about unimportant details You’re never get everything done in exactly the way you want. Trying to do so is being ineffective. Read more: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.
15. Prioritize. Since you can’t do everything, learn to prioritize the important and let go of the rest. Apply the 80/20 principle which is a key principle in prioritization. Read more about 80/20 in #6 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity.
16. Delegate. If there are things that can be better done by others or things that are not so important, consider delegating. This takes a load off and you can focus on the important tasks.
17. Batch similar tasks together. For related work, batch them together. For example, my work can be categorized into these core groups: (1) writing (articles, my upcoming book) (2) coaching (3) workshop development (4) business development (5) administrative. I batch all the related tasks together so there’s synergy. If I need to make calls, I allocate a time slot to make all my calls. It really streamlines the process.
18. Eliminate your time wasters. What takes your time away your work? Facebook? Twitter? Email checking? Stop checking them so often. One thing you can do is make it hard to check them – remove them from your browser quick links / bookmarks and stuff them in a hard to access bookmarks folder. Replace your browser bookmarks with important work-related sites. While you’ll still check FB/Twitter no doubt, you’ll find it’s a lower frequency than before.
19. Cut off when you need to. #1 reason why things overrun is because you don’t cut off when you have to. Don’t be afraid to intercept in meetings or draw a line to cut-off. Otherwise, there’s never going to be an end and you’ll just eat into the time for later.
20. Leave buffer time in-between. Don’t pack everything closely together. Leave a 5-10 minute buffer time in between each tasks. This helps you wrap up the previous task and start off on the next one.

By Erin form ErinParenting

Very often families come to me because of a child’s behavior issue and usually, the cause of the behavior is just an outward sign of something else, a broader or deeper issue.

We all had a dream of what we wanted our family life to be like before we had children or while we were pregnant.  Often times there is a disconnect between this dream and what our family life actually looks like today. Simplification is the answer when wanting to align our dreams with our family’s everyday experience.

I always say that if we want to make room for a shift in the dynamics of our family, if we want a different or evenbetter experience, then we have to create the space for it, and the way to do this is to first simplify the main location where most family experiences take place – the home.  There are four areas that need to be looked at: the environment, the rhythm, the schedules and the amount of adult world that the children in the house see and hear.  I suggest choosing one of these areas, one that feels the most doable first and then move through the others after the first is complete. Often times, the environment is where most people like to start so that will be the focus of this article.

Recently, there has been some very interesting research on behavioral changes in children with ADD and ADHD using “simplification” instead of drugs.  It has been found that behavioral tendencies can be soothed and relaxed by creating calm.  In one study 68% of children who were clinically dysfunctional in class and home changed to clinically functional in just four months of parents and teachers focusing on simplification of the child’s environment.

Children’s rooms or playrooms are usually packed with books, clothes and toys. In fact the average American child has roughly 150 toys. The effect of having too many toys is sensory overload. So many choices, in essence so much stimuli deprives children of leisure and the ability to explore their worlds deeply.  Have you ever watched your child or someone else’s who has so many toys and they say, “I don’t know what to do” and your response is, “What do you mean?  You have tonnes of toys to play with!”  The same thing happens to me when I enter a clothing store that has beautiful discounted clothes all lumped together on racks; I get too overwhelmed by the choices and eventually leave.

So, if the problem is overstimulation of the senses then what toys do we keep and which do we donate or give away? Here are some guidelines for simplifying children’s toys:

- Keep dear night time toys – these should always stay

- Keep toys that involve building, digging, and construction

- Keep receptive toys such as favorite dolls or stuffed animals; toys that just receive.

- Keep creative materials such as paints, crayons and modeling substances such as clay or play dough.

Essentially, the toys with staying power should be figures like dolls, knights or stuffed animals, building toys and dwellings of some sort, into which the child can project his or her figures and therefore themselves.  Throw away broken toys or ones with missing pieces.

Be sure to add some important things such as dress up clothes, musical instruments and a table with a big box of crayons and drawing paper as these allow for essential creative, imaginative play and expression.

After simplifying the toys, move on to books.  Some parents think that the more books their child has around them the better.  Not so.  It’s important that young children particularly, really concentrate on and revel in what they are reading.  Having our child become excited to have number 23 in the Magic Treehouse series is not our goal, enjoying books fully is much more important. Choosing 10-12 favorite books to neatly line a shelf in the child’s bedroom or playroom is ideal then simply switch the books every month or two.

Once books are taken care of move on to simplifying your child’s clothes. When you simplify children’s clothes you simplify daily life.  The clothes in your child’s dresser or closet should fit right now.  Clothes they’ve grown out of can be given away, stored, or sold.  Clothes that are too big can be put in storage.  Out of season clothes can also be stored and labeled. When the only clothes available are the ones that fit and are appropriate for the current weather, the dresser or closet is no longer a jungle to be hacked through.  Even a three year old can recognize the pattern of drawers and be able to get a shirt or sweater themselves.

The last two areas of the home environment to simplify are scents and sounds. Most of us have read or heard concerns about the ill effects of toxic chemicals in some cleaning and home care products.  Many “smelly” products like air fresheners, candles, soaps and cleansers come with a mixture of chemicals which causes adrenaline-pumping stimulation thus making us unconsciously more overloaded and physically stressed.  I use lavender oil or peppermint oil to calm, yet energize my home. There are many ecological companies that have created essential oil products that can replace the fake, stimulating ones.  I also have easy listening, jazz or classical music playing in my home which also sets the tone I want to achieve.

Simplification is an incredibly subtle way of changing the dynamics in your home.  The changes you’ll witness though will be incredible.  It’s always easy to look at a misbehaving child and say, “I can’t believe they are behaving like that!” however there is always a reason behind misbehavior and as more and more research is done, I’m positive it will continue to show that what really needs to happen is that we simplify our lives, slow down, and truly live life with our families the way we once dreamed.

If I asked you what a typical day for your family looks like, what would you say?  Often times when I ask parents this question most say, “There is no typical”. Family life today is more about randomness and improvisation than rhythm.  Wednesday wash day?  Snack and milk after school?  Sunday dinner?  These kind of weekly traditions rarely occur anymore.  The consequence?  Stress, misbehaviour, lack of family connection and overwhelm.  The antidote?  Creating more rhythm in your home.

Rhythm, often called routines or rituals, calms and secures children.  Author Kim Payne says that our children need to feel like there is an “author behind how things are done in their family.”  In other words, they need to feel like mom and dad say, “this is what we do, there is order and safety here.”  The payoff is that “gentle parental authority is established” at the same time as comfort is being created. It’s truly a win-win situation.

When parents hear the word rhythm or routine a feeling of stress often arises because they do not see how creating one is possible.  With so many after school schedules of multiple children how is it possible they think.  Along side this parents have different work schedules that often makes creating a routine difficult.

But…what if I told you that increasing the rhythm of your home life could actually SIMPLIFY you and your children’s life?  What if I told you that you could establish deeper emotional bonds with your children by creating traditions or rituals?  How about the fact that your children would misbehave less and laugh and giggle more?

The fact is is that the busier you are the more you and your children need and will benefit from the establishment of a sense of rhythm to your family’s day.

How do you begin? Choose basic activities that need rhythm (usually the ones where your child struggles ie. coming to the dinner table or getting dressed). Beginning a new ritual will take a couple of weeks, one month for older kids, before they become habit and occur on autopilot, but if you are consistent you’ll experience amazing changes in your family life. These new rituals or repetitive behaviours will become natural and your child will eagerly await them.

Here are some ideas that you can start with:

Family dinners

Think about the time that most of your meals could begin. Then think about how you could create small rituals around this time. Some things to consider:

1. Can your child be a part of the process?  (Setting table, lighting candles, preparing food alongside you?  Serving? Cleaning up?) 
2. Could there be a symbolic start to the meal? (Everyone says one thing they’re grateful for, say a prayer, light a candle)

The ritual does not need to be drastic or complicated, just decide how this time in your day could be made more rhythmic.

Sleep

Think about when you want your children to go to bed every night, even on weekends.  Then think about how you could create small rituals around this time. My family’s sleep ritual goes like this:

1. At 7:30 pm we countdown from 10 minutes
2. Clean/Tidy up together
3. Celebrate our tidy house by either playing a song together, each using a different        instrument or by doing a fun dance and song
4. Go upstairs to brush teeth
5. Put on pajamas with small plug light on only
6. Read one story
7. Say, “Good night Sweety, I love you.  Have a good sleep.”
8. Close door
9. Mommy and daddy relax together for the rest of the evening

If you have a very irregular schedule of who is picking up and dropping off the children etc., a good idea is to use bedtime to “preview” the next day for your child.  Children may not be in control of their day but they need to know and understand how it will play out.  This will provide them with both security and comfort.

Create what Kim Payne calls “pressure valves,” rituals that provides us and our children with a release of emotional steam.

Think about times during the day when your children could have free play, without your attention or entertainment, or reading time, or time to eat a snack and chat with you.

Now that you have chosen one area to build in some rhythm, have a family meeting to review the new rituals for older children or, if you have little ones, just start the new ritual– they’ll recognize the pattern soon enough.

Now the only thing left to do is to enjoy these small, rhythmic rituals with your children and experience the peace that they can bring to your family.

from Stepcase Lifehack by Mike Brown

There’s been speculation that as the economy recovers, many people who’ve been stuck in their jobs and unable to find new ones, will suddenly pick up and move to greener pastures. In contrast there are also predictions of a “jobless recovery,” which may mean being stuck in a lackluster job longer than these people (or maybe you) expected or would prefer. If that scenario plays out, it’s vital to recharge while still in your current job. Both near-term success and preparing for future successful moves make this essential.

Having been in one company for way longer than I ever expected, I had to reinvent myself multiple times to stay sane, productive, and continue to grow personally and professionally. These 8 strategies can help you recharge your job if you feel you’re getting stale:

1. Document the lessons you’ve learned.

Having been around the block a few times at your job you’ll have learned many lessons about what works and doesn’t in your profession, your company, and your industry. Thinking back on the strategic lessons you’ve learned provides an opportunity to start a blog, do presentations, record a podcast, or write an ebook. Sharing your knowledge in this way can build your stature with a broader audience to help pave the way for your next career move.

2. Reuse, recycle, and revamp.

If you’ve been a student of what you do, you should know a variety of techniques, models, and strategies that make you more effective. Having previously worked through them to understand what and how they deliver results, you’re in a unique position to begin tweaking them more aggressively. Rather than being stuck doing things one way over and over, you can modify certain elements to test for improved performance in subsequent uses.

3. Simplify business models, processes, or messages.

Mark Twain had a famous quote apologizing for the long length of a letter, mentioning he didn’t have the time to make it shorter. Most of us face the same challenge – it takes time to simplify things. Having been in your job for some time however, you’re in the perfect position to bring simplicity to your job and what your company does. Every business can use more simplicity. Take advantage of your tenure to create greater value by being the person who has the experience to make things easy, clear, and free of unnecessary detail.

4. Devote yourself to new learning.

Smart kids who are bored with school get into trouble when they aren’t challenged. Same thing happens in careers, too. The difference is in a work setting, you typically have to find ways to challenge yourself. If your mental energies aren’t fully engaged currently, get yourself going mentally with additional reading, training, or just plain experimenting with new techniques in your chosen field. You’ll become even more valuable in today’s job and whatever lies ahead for you.

5. Become a mentor.

What better way to take advantage of expertise you’ve developed from having been in one place for a while than by sharing it with others in your company? It’s not only beneficial for another person; mentoring pays dividends for you as well. You’ll learn new angles on what you know through explaining it to someone else. You’ll increase the size of your “fan” base within the company. Ideally, you’ll also prepare someone to be your own replacement, helping free you for other opportunities inside your company should you elect to stay longer.

6. Redesign your job.

Use your knowledge and view of the business to identify areas where you can make a stronger contribution or fix problems that exist today. Document your thoughts and start introducing them to your boss toward redesigning your job. Just remember this: focus on the results and benefits you’ll deliver for the company, not on what’s frustrating you about your current position. Doing so will make your boss a lot more likely to hear you out and consider your proposal.

7. Find new ways to use your talents.

If you’ve delivered results in your current job, you’re obviously known for the talents you possess. Build off that success to find new places to apply your talents inside your company. The key is to generalize what you do. For instance rather than thinking of yourself as a “finance person,” recast that as having “an aptitude for numbers and measurement.” All of a sudden, you might be able to look at a variety of metrics and monitoring-oriented positions such as project management, marketing analysis, call center management, etc.

8. Be a bolder you.

Early in a new job, you may feel pressured to dial back your personality to fit in. As you gain comfort, it’s time to introduce more of your personality into what you do. Are there talents, hobbies, or other passions you have which only get time and attention outside work? If so, look for ways to introduce those elements into your work. Maybe you’ve developed knowledge and experience in social media. Look for ways to bring that to your work setting to help drag your company into this century.

Try these strategies while you’re seeking something better. You may improve your current gig so much that staying actually becomes viable!

“Things went downhill when we had three family crises in a year,” said a new client who was explaining how her lovely home had evolved into a cluttered, chaotic mess.

It is very common for people to lose control of the order in their homes during times of crisis. Crisis situations that go on for an extended period of time consume time, energy and the motivation required to maintain an organized home.

It’s not uncommon for people to find that once they’ve gotten past the personal crisis–illness, death in the family, caregiving for aging or sick relatives, recovery from surgery–they have another crisis on their hands, a living space that is such a mess that they have no idea how they will ever get it back to its more orderly state.

Twice in the past year I’ve been thrown into crisis mode, first when my step-father began deteriorating mentally and had to have brain surgery and then when my disabled brother developed a serious infection in his artificial knee joint requiring surgery, weeks of IV antibiotics and another knee replacement. Both events were incredibly energy consuming for me because I was a key decision-maker, the coordinator of communication between family members, a key source of emotional support, and I had my own fears and other feelings to manage.

It was all I could do to get through each day dealing with the crisis at hand, much less tend to my small business and maintain order in my home. Those two crises were an opportunity for me to learn how to get through difficult times without losing control of other parts of my life.

Here are 6 of the important lessons I learned:

1. Identify tasks to be done no matter what.

Then do them! I am the money manager in our house. So, making sure bills got paid and that money was in the right accounts at the right time were two tasks I had to get done so we could avoid consequences like ruining our credit rating. Keeping us afloat financially during those difficult times helped ground me. I liked knowing that no matter what else happened, we were operating on a firm financial foundation.

2. Defer whatever tasks you can to other people.

Instead of trying to keep everything in order by myself, I asked my husband to do many tasks that normally I would have done to maintain our home and our lives together.
Also, people offer help during times of crisis. Let them! Last summer when I had bi-lateral bunion surgery I asked friends to help provide food and walk my dogs. They were happy to have something to do that would help me, and their help provided a type of emotional support I really needed.

3. Lighten your load by eliminating obligations.

It became clear to me pretty quickly that helping my mother and step-father through my step-father’s health crisis and staying healthy myself during that stressful process was more important than writing checks for a professional organization. I actually chose to resign from two volunteer positions because taking care of family and myself were the priority.

4. Control paper flow even if you can’t regularly process it.

You may not have time to do much with paper that flows into your house on a daily basis, but you can make sure that it all flows to the same place. That way, when you need to find something in that pile of paper, you have only one place to look. You might stack it in piles in your home office or get an open box and store it there. Just don’t let it float throughout your space!

If you want to go one step further, pull out bills and magazines/catalogs/newsletters. Put the bills in a highly visible location so you don’t forget about them and so they are easily accessible when you are ready to pay them. Place the magazine, catalogs and other reading materials in a location where you spend time reading. Removing those items from your paper pile will make it shrink and also make it easier to access things to read when you need a source of distraction.

5. Resist the urge to do nothing.

In times of personal crisis it is very normal to shut down because of overwhelm, fatigue, or just not knowing what to do. While it is important to take breaks to rest, recharge, and recover, it is not a good idea to go to ground and let everything go. It takes only a day or two for your space to go from being a peaceful haven to a chaotic nightmare. Then you not only have a crisis going on outside your home, but also inside your home. You have no safe place to retreat. Messy houses scream, “You slob! Why don’t you do something about this mess!” Make yourself do at least the bare minimum to maintain order, like controlling the paper flow, washing the dishes, straightening up daily.

6. Remember that maintaining a basic order will ground you during difficult times.

You may resist doing maintenance activities because you are exhausted, but if you override the urge to stop and plop on the sofa and instead do a few tasks to keep your space neat and organized, you will find that doing those things will help ground and calm you. You will then be better able to go out and deal with whatever challenge is going on. If you are physically incapable of maintaining order yourself, because of illness or disability, ask others to help you do that. Many people want to help in some way. Let them know that their help will ground you and facilitate your recovery.

My guess is that most of us would rather not spend much time in a hospital, unless you’re a doctor or nurse and love what you do. I’ve spent a day and a half in St. Mary’s Hospital in Waterbury, CT, with my disabled brother Mark who is waiting for surgery to remove an infected knee implant. So, I’ve had the chance to remember why I really like to avoid hospitals.

No matter how much effort goes into thedecor, the cleaning, and the landscaping, it’s really hard to offset the effects of the negative energies that exist because hospitals are places with a problem focus. Illness is negative energy. Patients are scared–more negative energy. Family members are concerned–more negative energy. Doctors and nurses are typically overworked, at times doing work that involves risks to human life and dealing with some overwhelming and unpleasant situations. Whew! Lots of negative energy!

I’ve found myself shifting into survival mode with my own energy so I endure this hospital experience. Here are some things I have been doing:

• I look for the good in every employee I encounter, even the nurse’s aide who won’t make eye contact.
• I ask for what I need or what Mark needs as our needs arise.
• I don’t take personally employee behaviors that aren’t as pleasant, helpful or supportive as I would like.
• I stay calm even when I feel scared or annoyed so I can be a grounding presence and bright light for Mark.
• I take lunch outside so I can shake off some of the negative energy I have absorbed.
• I remember my life outside of the hospital and remind myself that this experience is only temporary.
• I focus on how much I love Mark and remain detached even when he’s grumpy and reactive.
• I appreciate the overall cleanliness of the building.
• I note and feel grateful for every friendly person I encounter, from the person who made my salad at Subway to the receptionist who validated my parking ticket.
• I congratulate myself for my patience with Mark and the waiting despite my own fears about Mark’s situation.

I figure if I have to be here, if this is where I’ve been led to make a difference, I am going to do whatever I can to counter the negative energies that I have no control over with positive energies I do have control over. I can control my thoughts and my attitudes, and manage my emotions and behaviors.

When you find yourself in situations where you are exposed to negative energies over which you have no control, remember that you can control your own sources of positive energy if you so choose. Here are some ideas.

1. Look for the good that does exist. Feel grateful for it. When you deliberately look for good, you will find it. When you focus on negatives, you’ll find it. Wouldn’t you rather have a steady diet of good energies? They will help you more effectively cope with the challenges.
2. Avoid reacting to others and taking their behaviors personally. Pia Mellody, author of Facing Codependence, once said that people’s reactions have more to do with them and their history than they do with you, unless you’ve been offensive. So, observe others and wonder about their behaviors, but know that what you’re getting from them could have absolutely nothing to do with you.
3. Stay in your own power by remaining calm even when others are not. “Shut your mouth and breathe,” is another of my favorite reminders from Pia Mellody. Doing that will help you stay grounded and avoid saying or doing anything you might regret later.
4. Ask for what you need from people who are capable of giving it to you. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. Only you know what you need. And, it is empowering to respectfully make your needs known.
5. Don’t make requests of people who are incapable of responding appropriately to your requests. That’s a setup for disappointment and will only fuel your anger.